I have grown up in a very
sheltered and privileged environment. I have lived in several parts of the
United States, yet I have never left the safety of my home country. Even in the
broad American culture, I am not always certain how to act. I was raised in a
Christian home and my parents tried to shelter my brother and me from the
influences of mainstream society. I also have a very introverted personality
and am more comfortable spending time alone than dealing with other people. As
I reflect on these things, I wish to a certain extent that I had not closed
myself off from the rest of the world. I am an introvert and will always need
my alone time, but I am still a citizen of this world. It is harder for me to
learn now how to be a responsible and considerate citizen. Nonetheless, I
believe that every experience in life can be used to grow, and this semester my
mind has been made aware of the complexity of living in this world.
In life, people play many
different roles. I am a student, a teacher, a cashier, a daughter, a sister,
etc. In each of these roles, how I approach multi-cultural settings may differ.
At the same time, I believe that there are some principles that should inform
any intercultural communication situation.
When Peter Nwosu came to
America, he wasn’t sure what to expect or how to view African Americans. His
perception of them had been molded by media portrayals to the point where he
was more fearful of them than of white Americans. As he spent more time in
America, this view changed, but he had to deal with new challenges. He had to
adjust to the expectations and norms of the society around him. In one
instance, he fell down some icy stairs. He expected his friend to say he was
sorry and to help him up, but his friend did not do this. Instead, he asked if
he was okay. Nwosu had to learn to work through these differences in culture.
When talking about another misunderstanding he had with a fellow student, he
says, “One of the major indicators of intercultural growth when one confronts a
cultural problem must be a willingness on the part of those involved to engage
in genuine dialogue, which helps to sort out the cultural differences that
created the miscommunication,” (Nwosu, 2006, p. 126). As a friend or
acquaintance of someone from another culture, I believe that it is important to
be open about the cultural differences. In my own experience, I have only had a
handful of friends/acquaintances from other cultures. When I interact with
them, they are very willing to bend to my culture, so I rarely think about what
their expectations are. As I look at the issues that we have discussed in
class, however, I want to be more aware and willing to accommodate those from
other cultures. As a friend/acquaintance, it is important to be open to other
cultures, but to also be open about one’s own culture. Help the person to
adjust and learn what the surrounding society expects and some of the reasons
why.
Some groups do not mind
being separate from the mainstream culture. Unlike Nwosu, they are content to
maintain their own culture and only interact with the dominant culture when it
is necessary. For example, the Amish communities are close-knit and refrain
from using many of the same conveniences as mainstream America. Their lives are
characterized by simplicity, hard work, and strong family and religious ties.
Despite their separation from American culture, they dwell in the nation and
are accepted as citizens. As members of the dominant culture, then, how ought
we to respond to them? Many look at them in awe and fascination, some even
envying their simply ways and strong values. I myself have long idealized them,
believing that I would enjoy their lifestyle if it wasn’t for my disagreement
with some of their beliefs. At the same time, I know deep down that I am too attached
to certain modern conveniences. How should I react to this kind of culture,
then? Am I truly being inter-culturally competent just because I like the
culture? What is my responsibility towards the Amish, and other separatist
cultures, as a member of main-stream society? I believe that it is my role to
represent these cultures as truthfully as I can. It is my role to learn about
them, and when I interact with them, to look at them as human beings just like
me. Any culture that I am not used to will of course hold some fascination for
me. It cannot be helped. The more I learn about it, however, the more I can
come to appreciate and respect it as not just an object of fascination, but as
someone’s identity and value system.
In the film Arranged, several intercultural issues
are presented through the experiences of the main characters, Rochel and
Nasira. The two women not only had to endure the ignorance of their supervisor,
but they had to deal with their impending arranged marriages and the conflicts
which arose in their families. There are several roles addressed in this film:
friend, teacher, student, family member, co-worker, and supervisor. I have
already talked about the role of friends, and in the film the idea of openness
about cultures is shown in the friendship between Rochel and Nasira. What about
the other roles? I teach ESL students, and I both of my teachers this semester
are from other countries. What is my role as a student and a teacher, then? In
the film, the students were reflecting the attitudes of the adults around them.
They didn’t understand how Rochel and Nasira could be friends. There was one
student, however, who didn’t seem worried about this at all. He was more
concerned about having a nice teacher to work with him. I think his attitude is
one I would like to have, and one I would like my students to have. It is
important to not see people according to the stereotypes applied to them, but
to see them simply as human beings. In the case of the family member role, the
film presents an interesting dilemma. Rochel and Nasira were happy to be
friends, but their friendship could have had some serious consequences for
Rochel’s family and her own marriage prospects. I do not know what would be
best in a situation like this. I believe that it is good to be open to other
cultures, but if you come from a culture in which association with someone of
an “enemy” culture will soil your reputation and that of your family, how do
you fight against that? It creates the risk of alienation from your family and
community.
Though a person might
approach intercultural communication differently depending on the role, in the
end the important thing is that the person looked at the other as a human
being, another citizen in this world. This is the thread that binds the
different roles together. It truly comes down to the Golden Rule. If I treat
others as I desire to be treated, I will see them as I see myself. In her
recounting of her experiences during the Holocaust, Elane Geller talks about
the responsibility of each individual. She admits that it may seem like one
person cannot make a difference, yet she also expresses the need for each
person to speak up against injustice. It may be because of growing up in an
individualistic society, but I have a hard time seeing myself as a citizen of
the whole world and being responsible for what happens in it. Still, I can see
the wisdom what Geller talks about. I am a citizen of this world, whether I see
it that way or not. I can join Cain and ask, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” or I
can love my neighbor as myself. When I see injustice, in any setting, I can do
my part in making others aware of the problem. When more people become aware,
the voice gets louder, and it is harder to ignore the problem.
Geller states, “I speak
as a human being to other human beings of all creeds, colors, and religions,”
(Geller, 2006, p. 182). She also says, “More important than everyone liking
each other and being friends is the goal of tolerance and decency toward every
human being,” (Geller, 2006, p. 188). Does it take being dehumanized to truly
understand what it means to be a human being? There are many stereotypes,
ethnocentric attitudes, and instances of prejudice and discrimination. We have
many advances in science and technology, and we see ourselves as civilized, yet
we often treat other human beings as lesser, sometimes without even realizing
we are doing so. In recent years, Islamophobia has grown rampant. We have
stopped seeing the human beings who live by this religion. All we see are
terrorists. What does this do? It shows that we do not believe them to be the
same level of human that we are. Conflicts arise among mainstream American
society and the separatist group of Hasidic Jews because one side generalizes
the other as a poisoning influence. When these stereotypes, prejudices, and
ethnocentric attitudes arise, what can I do? My only answer is to return to
what Geller said. The important thing in any intercultural situation, and the
only solution to the problem of racism and prejudice, is to see every human
being as a human being. It is to know that I am human being, and to treat
others and I would like to be treated.
References
Geller,
E. N. (2006). The Holocaust and its lessons: A survivor’s story. In M.W. Lustig
& J. Koester (Eds.), Among Us: Essays
on Identity, Belonging, and Intercultural Competence (pp. 182-189). Boston,
MA: Pearson Education, Inc.
Nwosu,
P. O. (2006). Cultural problems and intercultural growth: My American journey.
In M. W. Lustig & J. Koester (Eds.), Among
Us: Essays on Identity, Belonging, and Intercultural Competence (pp.
118-127). Boston, MA: Pearson Education, Inc.
